Women are meant to receive. Woman, in spirit, mind, and body is called to this vocation of receptivity. Living this call can be demanding, beautiful and challenging.
“[The] Bride is loved: it is she who receives love, in order to love in return.”
St. John Paul II in Mulieris Dignitatem
In this month of Mary, I’d like to offer 5 ways that Catholic moms can care for their whole person without losing their mind. It is important to remember that these are simply suggestions. Each woman’s vocation to motherhood is unique and these suggestions may resonate more with some than others! This is all so very personal and just as uniquely and differently how we are created as individuals our walk in motherhood is widely different. After surveying 7 of my close friends who have walked motherhood from 30+ years to just 15 days. Women of all stages can also gain from these suggestions because like A woman is called to be a mother — sometimes in body, always in soul.
Tip #1: Regular Prayer
The first tip was mentioned by all the women I talked to! Each woman said that maintaining a prayer life was the most important form of self-care! It is important to ask the Lord for inspiration as to what wholeness looks like in whatever season of life you find yourself in. Practically finding ways to incorporate wholeness for pregnant/nursing moms looks different than for moms with teenagers or even adult children. Working moms, stay at home moms, single moms, homeschooling moms, school moms and empty nest moms all have different walks, but all deserve to receive the wholeness the Lord desires.
He desires goodness for each and every one of us – it just might look different depending on one’s season of life. Please be gentle and patient with yourself. Comparison is the thief and the enemy’s way to rob us of our peace and joy. These suggestions are meant to prompt you to take this question to the Father and receive the direction from the Holy Spirit for your specific walk. The women I spoke to emphasized the power of the Eucharist, confession, adoration, quiet time in prayer/meditation in a comfy chair, walking rosary, Scripture or Lives of the Saint readings, divine mercy chaplet and of course a favorite of mine, praise and worship music! A simple prayer you could start your day with is. “Jesus you take care of everything – I will focus on loving you.”
Tip # 2: Movement
Prioritizing personal time for movement is the second tip! Many women emphasized the importance of taking time for what gives you life. Take a moment and consider what hobbies or activities you like to do that incorporates physical activity. Is it a hobby/sport, exercise, gardening, walking with a friend/spouse, or listening to a podcast on a walk? Is it something completely different? Do not be afraid to dedicate time for yourself to do those things. Ask the Father, where in your day/week you should make time for that and stick to it! Hold that time as sacred because we all know that we are able to fill it with laundry, cleaning, cooking and others to-do tasks. Movement is very important for women’s health! Incorporating this practice has proven to be helpful for all the women I spoke with.
Pay attention to the needs of your body during different times of the month and how making movement apart of your life can provide better emotional, mental and physical health for you. Personally, I love to run and I need to take a day off from running to let my body refuel, rest and receive proper nutrients to get back into running the next day. Motherhood is like a lifelong marathon. Take time to receive what you need!
Tip #3: Intentional Relationships
Intentional relationships is tip number 3! Investing in your relationship with your husband through intimate time together like date nights, getaways, walks and vacations is extremely important Intentional conversations with your spouse, even if only 10 minutes a day can really refocus and renew your sense of purpose. Your marriage is your vocation so tending to that will definitely benefit your whole person. If you walk motherhood a little differently and don’t have a spouse to share intimately with, know that the Lord desires you to come to Him. He desires to know your heart.
Whether you have a spouse or not, spending time with other women in small groups and especially intentional conversations can be very life-giving.
For generations, women have been sharing yummy recipes, child rearing tips, and homemaking insights. Do not be afraid to share and receive this knowledge with gratitude for the many talents that women have! Learning from other mothers on how to navigate situations and receiving encouragement from them can help tremendously. Having the ability to share your struggles and dreams with others not only can help you set concrete goals in motherhood but also helps you to be held accountable. It is relationships that we are able to laugh, celebrate and share the Lord working in our lives.
Tip #4: Beauty
When we walk into a room we spot, point out and recognize beauty. As women we become beauty and make others more beautiful! A few areas where women have found beauty to be especially helpful to their motherhood is in home decor and in creation. It helps to have a special place in your home that allows you to rest, relax and become rejuvenated -A place that is clear of clutter, documents, and piles of laundry.
This might sound overwhelming or unachievable but if you look at it as just one room, one small space for you to claim as your own, it might not seem so difficult to achieve. Replacing some of the clutter with plants, fresh flowers, clean and comfy blankets and pillows, good lightening and uplifting colors can all help provide the beautiful atmosphere we are creating for ourselves and our family. I’m not saying you need to renovate your house but suggest you create a small space you love and find uplifting.
Other women rely heavily on experiences in creation like a peaceful sunrise before waking children or a walk under the stars. A hike, walk or bike ride to feel the wind on your face. Vitamin D from the sunshine keeps us physically healthy and ultimately contributes our whole person wellness. Some women are master gardeners and find some of their most powerful conversations with the Lord in their own backyards and gardens.
Tip #5: Social Supports
We were never meant to do this all alone. From the beginning of time, there was no such thing as isolation – there has always been the Trinity – the communion of 3 persons. Motherhood can seem lonely at times but it doesn’t have to be. Ask for help and offer to help others. Use your time, talent and treasure to help other mothers. In different days, years or seasons you might have more ability to help others or you might fall in greater need of receiving. Both can be very uplifting and part of your journey in wholeness.
Remember your community of support isn’t just limited to those on this side of heaven. Find ways to communicate with the blessed Mother, communion of saints, and angels who can be a source of strength and have the ability to intercede for you daily. Call upon patron saints of your children or struggles you may be having.
If you desire to find more wholeness in your motherhood and want to dive deeper into what that could look like in your life, I invite you to inquire about CURO Catholic wellness coaching and Spiritual Direction.
